I shan't be going to New York after all. Over three weeks after sending the first email to my prospective partner and not hearing anything despite a couple more emails and an attempt at phoning I have found out that she has rejected the match.
I don't really know why, we haven't even spoken and on paper we were a good match. I suspect it's because I'm in London and she hadn't asked for London but the chances of her finding a match in the places she had asked for are incredibly slim. I wonder if she realises that?
I was getting worried because I hadn't heard from her so today I phoned the British Council. They told me she had rejected the match and that they would try and find me a new match but they didn't hold much hope because Secondary Science was a bit thin on the ground.
They called me back later and told me that there aren't any biology matches but that there are a couple of chemistry. The woman at the British Council sounded hopeful but she has to put the match to the Fulbright Commission. She will propose one then we get to decide to accept or reject. If it's rejected either by us or the other school then she will propose the second which isn't quite as good.
She wouldn't tell me where they were located because she thought it would sway my opinion of the matches but she did say that the two locations were very different from each other.
I've been upset this evening, I hadn't realised quite how much it would affect me plus there's the worry that time is running out. I'm cross that the original match didn't have the decency to contact me herself or attempt to find out anything about the match. She must have got the emails I sent her but chose to ignore them. She also sent her rejection very late which has narrowed my chances of finding somewhere.
I shall just have to wait and see what the next match is like. It will be a disappointment if I end up in Smallville somewhere after being oh so excited about New York. I realise that this is completely the wrong attitude to have and it's just an over emotional response and it's not really the way I think about it, where ever I end up will be hugely exciting it's just how I feel tonight.